Inpatient update

The unofficial end of summer is imminent with the upcoming labor day weekend. This summer, though somewhat stressful, has absolutely blown by.

Unfortunately, I am again in hospital for the end of summer. Looking at the positives though, I got here before I waited too long.

I will be the first to admit that I’m getting tired of these yearly admissions. It’s not that the hospital is a bad place, it’s just that I would rather be home with my wife and pets. I’d rather not need to come in here to get meds figured out, and get myself sorted.

The flip-side is, if I broke my leg, I would have no reservations about going to the hospital for treatment. So, what’s the difference?

Essentially, stigma.

Even with how long i have been battling these demons, coming into hospital somehow seems to be a failure. The insane thing is I know how distorted that perception is.

There is nothing to be feared by a hospital admission. They adjust meds. Give you a chance to talk things out. The centre is comprised of experts in their field, all focused on getting me back to baseline and out to my home community.

Yes, there are rules. Yes, some of the staff have compassion fatigue. And yes some of the staff are a lot more blunt than a lot of people in this overly sensitive day and age are used to. Sometimes that is what people need when they struggle. There is a time and a place for coddling someone, and then there’s a time and a place for a kick in the ass.

I think that is why I respect the doctor who’s care I am currently under. I remember the first time I met him I thought he was a pompous ass, and I wanted a new doctor. Needless to say we didn’t get along.

In the ensuing admissions I’ve stuck it out with him, though and grown to respect him because he didn’t coddle me. Didn’t accept my bullshit. He gave me a shove, helped me back to my feet, and helped me stand on my own.

Am I happy I need support in hospital as often as I do? Hell no. Am I thankful that this place is here, and can be accessed fairly easily when needed? Yes.

I may never be through with this beast in my mind, but each admission I learn more, and move closer to a day I can finally put the past behind me.

Thank you for following me on this journey.


3 thoughts on “Inpatient update

  1. As you just said, each time you learn more. It’s a learning journey…
    I think you said in the previous post that you’re home in 9 days…. hope the next days are helpful to you. You’re worth it.


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