Boundaries are a dividing line. Boundaries can divide countries, they can divide properties. Boundaries can also be seen in the abstract, dividing what is socially acceptable, and what isn’t.
Setting boundaries is a critical skill in recovering from mental illness. It is also one of the hardest to develop. How do you find the balance? Why is it so difficult to develop these skills that the majority of the population has a handle on?
Many things can cause these problems. Not learning appropriate boundaries at a young age. Chemical imbalance. Brain structure abnormalities. Personality disorders. All these factors can cause “broken lines.”
I know when I was young I had no boundaries. I was an overly emotional open book. I would share things that maybe shouldn’t have been aired. Being so open has caused major impacts on my relationships over the years, and has caused many to question my emotional stability, for good reason. I know over the last few years, the therapy has helped me set healthy boundaries. It’s been hard though. Very hard.
In setting boundaries it’s tough to balance the scales. It’s tough to set a level where yiou help others, and you also help yourself.
If you just people please and don’t look for yourself, you become a door mat for everyone you interact with. This isn’t an ideal situation as it leaves yourself open for abuse in those you seek the approval of.
Alternatively, when establishing walls, you can put up a wall so hard, so off-putting, that you can’t connect with anyone, and then you never really either, do you?
The balance is hard to find, and very hard to maintain, but with effort having a boundary with broken lines can make a life worth living.